Judge's Report

Congratulations to the winners, to all those who submitted poems, and to the NZPS for sponsoring this competition, which encourages the discussion and practice of haiku among young people. It was certainly a pleasure for me to have the opportunity this year to judge the competition.

For this year's contest, 807 haiku were submitted. Of these, twenty-five made the final cut.
I looked for poems that were concise, well written and distinctive. The best haiku not only resonate, but they invite the reader to complete the poem. As well as originality, good imagery and concision, the haiku should have juxtaposition (a combination of two images). If the juxtaposed parts are too closely related, resonance is lost. Sometimes a haiku can be strengthened by introducing a second image, or by revising the structure to create better juxtaposition with the images that are already present.

Many of the haiku submitted contained similar themes: autumn leaves, soldiers, pets, the moon and the beach. So in judging the haiku, it was necessary to find a new approach made to these familiar topics.

First Prize:

sparrows feeding
in toi-toi flowers -
the roughness of my father's hand

Harry Frentz, Tauranga Intermediate School, Tauranga

"Sparrows feeding" is a commonplace image that we've all seen, small birds gathering to feed in trees, flowers and plants; "in toi-toi flowers" brings in a characteristic plant that we see growing in gardens and by the roadside. In juxtaposition, the last line of this haiku is also about nurture: the father's discipline of a child. My own reading is that the father is correcting the child, although it could have another meaning: the "roughness" of the hand contrasting with the feathery lightness of the fronds. The emotional weight, the tension, of the poem is carried by the word "roughness". I am taken with the poet's skill in showing a personal event in such a way that I may enter it and share. The situation is wide open to a reader to identify the circumstances or intensity as it relates to personal experience. Something I find on another level is that the personae of the poem have a strong bond - the perspective zooms out to show this.

Second Prize:

sailing against
the wind
the taste of my tears

Harry Frentz, Tauranga Intermediate School, Tauranga

This seems a simple, direct poem. It is part of the haiku poet's art to set and show a scene that can lead, if a reader wishes, to more complexity. Certainly the kigo (season word) "wind" is easy to grasp and can be generalized to any place. "Sailing against / the wind" is a metaphor meaning to be in opposition to something or someone, but here the writer personalizes the haiku with the 3rd line "the taste of my tears". In this haiku the poet can mean the poem to be taken literally or on a metaphorical level. The persona is sailing and can taste the tears caused by the wind on his/her face, or the persona could be talking about conflict, either with the wind or with another person.

Third Prize:

antique carpet
picking out the patterns
autumn sunshine

Sophia Frentz, Tauranga Girls' College, Tauranga

This spare, exquisitely crafted haiku resonates beyond its eight simple words. On the surface the poet seems to be commenting on a particular rug, maybe a Persian one in the home, where the rays of sunshine pick out its pattern. But the poem can also be construed as a comment on a phenomenon of nature, with a subtle metaphor crafted by the use of the word "antique". In this reading, we may see the carpet as being one of autumn leaves on the forest floor. There is no overt sentimentality in this haiku, simply an acute observation and an acceptance of what is, both in nature and in our surroundings. The poet has crafted the poem with precision: each line breaks on a critical word, and the lines are linked musically through assonance (repetition of the a sound) and alliteration (repetition of the c and p sounds). This is an example of a very good haiku.

Fourth Prize:

floodlit
she counts
syllables of rain

Charlotte Trevella, Rangi Ruru Girls' School, Chriatchurch

I chose this haiku as it evokes a quiet, even melancholy scene without using the word "sad". We don't know what it is that is floodlit, maybe the persona, maybe a place. But the persona finds music in the steady patter of raindrops. The wonderfully precise opening line and the action of counting, no doubt as a way of passing the time, make as atmospheric a poem as one can wish to read.

Fifth Prize:

noon
a lone boat
drifts in blue

Ana Blakelock, St Andrew's College, Christchurch

I selected this poem because it has that sense of the unexpected: the calm of midday when a boat is seen drifting by itself in the ocean. The reader is invited to partake in the mystery of not knowing why the boat is drifting and if there is anyone onboard that might need help. It is simple, subtle and convincing.


Of the poems selected for the Highly Commended section, they each give us a poignant moment in time and are examples of well-wrought haiku. The final section, Commended poems, provide us with insights into nature and human nature. A few poets in these sections were very accomplished, while others seem to be at an early stage in their development as haiku poets.

Of the remaining haiku there were several experiments with layout of the poems, several poems containing artwork and four or five that were either haiku or something close to it. But the majority of the poems submitted were over-written or were too complicated to be called haiku. Some of the haiku held together and invited further contemplation, whilst others were less coherent and invited dismissal, or would do if you didn't know they were written by beginners in the art of writing haiku. My advice to any young person wishing to persevere in the study of haiku is to read some of the haiku they will find on the Internet. Here young people will find excellent haiku from a wide range of international poets. Such sites include:

The Heron's Nest: http://www.theheronsnest.com
Simply Haiku: http://www.simplyhaiku.com
Stylus: http://www.styluspoetryjournal.com

Patricia Prime, Auckland, June 2007

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